How to be desirable? In short, the easiest way to be desirable is to show people that you are “in demand”. I don’t mean like you can be there for someone at a moments notice, that’s “on demand”. You have to appear like you will get along just fine without whoever you are trying to attract.
Be so confident in yourself and who you are, that others will look to you with awe, respect and maybe even envy. Being desirable is a mindset, an exudance of confidence and most of all a quality that is reserved only for those that are strong enough to show it and live it 24/7.
If you are able to project confidence, but yet still be approachable, you will be desirable to whomever you are trying to be desirable to.
So this might make you ask, what are some traits of people that are highly desirable? Here are a few:
- Positive attitude
- Successful Career
- Has Good Friends
- Good Posture
- Sense of Style
- Not Afraid to Talk to People
- Down to Earth
- Shows Affection
- Friendly to All
Practicing Being Desirable
The aforementioned qualities are just some of the traits that desirable people possess and can make someone intriguing to the opposite sex. If you want to be desirable, you need to give people a reason to desire you. No one is attracted to someone that just gets by, and “floats through life” with no real ambition or goals. I know that not everyone has grand dreams of success in this world, but this is where it gets interesting.
In fact, a lot of people do have dreams of being with a perfect partner, or achieving financial success in life. But what most people never do, is execute a plan to get what they want. This is where being desirable comes into play. In order to get what you want out of life, you have to know exactly what you want, and then figure out a realistic way to get it.
The good news here, is that most people never do what it takes to get what they want. So that just eliminated probably a good 80% or more of your competition!
Learn Something New
This might sound silly, but a good place to start to get some confidence back is to begin reading some self help books. I know what you are thinking. What do self-help books have to do with my desirability. Well, a lot actually. Self-help books inspire to you have many of the qualities that desirable people have. So essentially, you are increasing your desirability by learning about how to improve yourself. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with you, but sometimes it’s hard to notice the bad in ourselves. We tend to only see the good.
I practice this in my own life as well. If feel like no matter how much luck or success you have in life, you can never stop improving. There is always something about yourself or your life that you can always make better. That may sound like a perfectionist speaking, but really it is the truth. If you think you “have it all” or are “already perfect” you are kidding yourself! Be realistic, and start becoming a better person, therefore more desirable to others. Wether you are looking for a promotion, or just looking to get laid.
I prefer audiobooks myself, as you can get through the books much faster and do something else while listening to the book. I used to listen to a lot of music while at the gym. But nowadays, I find myself usually listening to audiobooks or podcasts while at the gym. A few books that I would recommend for building up your desirability that have real sound “down to earth advice” are: “Your are a Badass” By Jen Sincero, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” By Mark Manson and “The Power of Now” By Ekhart Tolle.
All 3 of these books bring something different to the table as far what you will learn, but they all have a common thread. That common thread teaches you essentially how to be more desirable! It probably doesn’t seem so obvious at first just by the titles, but if you take my advice and read them, you will understand later, and naturally start putting out some desirable vibes to your partner, and probably even improve other aspects of your life that you might not expect.
Disappear For a Little While
One of the best ways I have found in my own life to increase your desirability is to disappear for a while! What do I mean? Haven’t you ever noticed that as soon as you go on vacation, everyone suddenly wants to “hang out” or “get together”?
This is no coincidence, even though it might seem like it. Since we were all kids, we always want the things we didn’t have or couldn’t have. The same holds true for adults.
When someone is no longer just down the street, in the next cubicle, or just a phone call away, it suddenly makes others realize that you are more important to them than they tend to think when you are around.
This trick can work if you are in a relationship by suddenly spending some time apart, either for days, or maybe even a few weeks. Whatever the appropriate time frame for you based on your budget, free time, and how much time you already spend with your partner.
It also works if you are trying to attract someone new. Been asking out that cute guy or girl and always getting rejected? Try disappearing, and try again when you come back from your trip. When you see that person again, to your surprise, they may greet you with a big smile, ask where you went, and how you have been! What a change that would be huh? If that happens, ask them out again, and you will almost surely get the date you are looking for.
How to Rekindle Desire
A lot of what you just read applies to people that are in the dating scene and trying to attract a new partner. However, the same advice can be used for anyone already in a relationship looking to rekindle desire.
If you are not putting out the vibes of a positive attitude, confidence, ambition, style, kindness etc, it is natural for anyone to lose interest. I mean, put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to be with someone who has given up, essentially? Hell no! No one would.
A lot of times desirability comes down to who you have become. Most people bring their “A” game at the beginning of any relationship. But as the years go by, people get content and feel like they don’t have to try hard anymore.
You may not need to do all sorts of shenanigans to impress your partner like you once did, but you certainly still need to act like someone worth staying with, and that’s where a lot of people get lost.
Get Better in Bed
Getting some desire back with your current partner can be as easy as just spicing things up in the bedroom! To me, this seems like an obvious move for a stale relationship, but may not be as visible to someone that is in a lifeless marriage or relationship. Give this one a try, you won’t be disappointed. Sex is probably the best way to keep both partners wanting each other, and still have a fire burning for them.
Sex is the reason that we get together in the first place, and to let it slip away, is a crime on your relationship. Don’t let this happen! If it already has, just work on getting it back. If after trying for several months or even for a year, and no results, it may be time to start thinking about splitting up. But hopefully it will not come to that.
What Not To Do
If you are wondering how how to be desirable again, the last thing you want to do is look desperate. No one is attracted to desperate. In fact, it’s the opposite. That is the quickest way to repel whoever you are trying to attract.
Here are some actions and personality traits to avoid:
- Talking about past relationships
- Acting clingy
- Trying too hard
- Being TOO available
- Negative or Hopeless Attitude
- Being Sarcastic about Everything
- Showing signs of Jealousy
- Not paying attention to your date
- Moving too fast
All of these things are likely to leave you in the dust, and massively decrease your desirability, whether with your new date, or your long time partner.
The End Result
At the end of the day, being desirable to someone else means you have to be fully comfortable being who you are around others. Own it, don’t try to fake it. Most people will be able to tell if you are faking it, and it won’t be good for you or get you the results you are hoping for.
Instead, take some of these pointers, practice being authentic. The number one thing most people are lacking today is authenticity. So many people try and make their lives appear better than they really are. Either through social media, or the old school way of just talking a big game with really nothing to back it up.
You will know once you have mastered being more desirable when people are asking YOU out. Or if your partner is looking to impress YOU! The difference will be highly noticeable, and you will be extremely glad you took the time to work on yourself, and improve who you are as a human. This will pay many dividends in your future relationships, business ventures, jobs or anything really that requires interaction with other humans. You can thank me later 😉