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What is Third Base In a Relationship?

Chances are, if you are reading this, then you probably are in a new relationship and wondering what all these “bases” mean.  The short answer is: Third base in a relationship is when you and your partner explore some form of “oral sex”.  This can be a blowjob, fondling or licking the vagina, penis or any combination of the two.  It is what is referred to as “below the waist” stimulation.

Now that the short answer is out of the way, if you are interested in learning more or have further questions, keep reading.

First Base

Young Couple Kissing

First base is when you just start kissing or holding hands with your partner.  Obviously, this almost always is the first stage in any new relationship.  It will help build trust and possibly love with your new partner.  Most Importantly, you will both start to feel more comfortable with each other and be more prepared for second base.

Second Base

Lesbian Couple Making Out and Touching Breast

Second Base is any kind of touching or feeling “above the waist”.  This can include everything from first base, but also means touching, feeling, and fondling the girls breasts / nipples.  Usually you will get to second base while making out and will come pretty quickly after first base.  It is really the next “natural” step when making it out.  It will just sort of happen, maybe without even realizing it at first!

When Is It OK To Go To Third Base?

We already defined that third base is any kind of kissing or oral sex below the waist.  There are really no hard and fast rules of when it is “OK” to go to third base.  It mainly boils down to how comfortable both people are in the relationship.  For teenagers and young people who are just starting to explore dating and sex, understand that third base IS SEX! 

Sex does not just mean penetration and penis in the vagina.  That is sex too, but not the only form of it.  Once you understand any of the possible consequences of going to third base, then it is ok to go for it.  In case you don’t already know, you can still contract an STI or STD from going to third base, even though there is no penetration. 

Make sure if you are planning on going to third base, you know your partner well enough and that they are free from any sexually transmitted disease.  Of course, you cannot get pregnant from going to third base, but it does come with all of the other responsibilities and consequences of penetration besides pregnancy.

What Does Third Base Feel Like?


This largely depends on the perspective you are coming from!  If you are a boy / man, third base can be extremely exciting.  It is the first time you are getting close to actual intercourse with your partner.  It is basically the the “preview” of what is to come next.  Don’t mistake third base for a lead up to 4th or home base though, unless you and your partner have already agreed to “go all the way”.  Your girlfriend may want to experiment some more with third base before going to home base.

For girls / women, this stage can be a little more pressuring.  They know that the boy / wants sex (intercourse) and this is the last stage before that actually happens.  Since girls are the ones who can get pregnant, it can be a little scarier for them, but still pleasurable. 

It can be extremely erotic to have your partner go down on you.  You may also get a lot of pleasure out of going down on them as well.  Just make sure you and your partner are on the same page, regardless of which “base” you are on.  Never  allow anyone to force you to do something you don’t want to do.

How To Get To Third Base With My Girlfriend?


I know this is a question a lot of guys out there are asking.  The thing is, there is no real “method”.  What you need to do is get to know your girlfriend.  Make her feel comfortable with you in all situations.  This means when going out on dates with her, showing her affection and care at al times.  Holding her hand, kissing her in public, anything you can do to show her you care for her and are not just “in it to win it”.

If she is not getting this feeling from you yet, then she will not be ready for third base.  You must show her that you are ready for third base, without pressuring her.  If you are too impatient and always pressuring her to go to third base, this is a sure fire way to NEVER get there!  So don’t do it!  It also means that you probably don’t really care about her and she will sense it.

Home Base Meaning


Home base is the holy grail (especially for men).  This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.  Actual Sexual Intercourse.  Penis in Vagina.  I know this is probably the most exciting part of a new relationship, but it can also be nerve racking! 

Be prepared!  This means bring your own protection (whether you are a guy or girl) you want to be ready.  Some of my favorite condoms for beginners can be found here.  Home base is definitely a lot of fun and should be a special moment in any new relationship, regardless of age.

Make sure you are ready for any potential consequences.  Not trying to be a downer, but shit happens.  Unexpected pregnancies happen.  Disease happens.  Change of feelings for your partner after hitting home base happens.  You need to be mentally prepared for any or all of these outcomes!  Believe me, they happen every day to people who think “that could never happen to me”.

If any of these things happen to you, make sure you talk to your partner about it.  Noting is more awkward than having sex with someone for the first time, having something go wrong, and then never talking about it or “blaming” them for it.  This is immature and will only make a bad situation worse.  Sex is the most intimate act you can do with anyone.  Always treat the other person with respect, before during, and after.

Relationship Bases Timeline

First Base– Usually happens on the first couple of dates.  A kiss or holding hands is always the first phase of any romantic relationship.  Expect this to happen fairly soon in a new relationship (within a couple of weeks or days).

Second Base  Fondling or kissing the woman breasts and nipples.  This also happens fairly quickly in a new relationship, as long she is comfortable.  Probably, this will happen within the first month of your relationship.

Third Base  This one will take a little longer.  This is actually sex without the intercourse.  It is oral sex of any kind.  Licking or sucking on the penis or vagina.  Expect it to take at least a month, if not longer to get to this stage in a relationship, as it is a serious step to take.

Home Base  Home base is sexual intercourse with your partner.  Since this is the most serious step, it is not uncommon for this to take a few months, if not even longer.  Both partners should be prepared for it and know what they are getting into with each other.