How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually?

This is not a question that woman usually have to ask themselves, but If it has been too long since you and your husband have had sex or you just want to have more sex, than you are currently having, then stay tuned. We have some husband low libido remedies that might be able to help you get him interested in you sexually again. But first, let’s find out what the root causes might be to the lack of sex you are having, and what you can do about it.

How Often Do We Have Sex?

If your husband has a low libido or low sex drive, it is important to first take a look backwards to see what has changed over the years (or months).  Was it always this way?  When you were satisfied with your sex life, how often did you have sex, what was the sex like?  

It can be quite normal for a couple to have less sex as time goes on.  However, sex is the driving force in the beginning of every romantic relationship, and as it starts to fade, it can be very problematic for the survival of your relationship. 

Most happy couples that have sex regularly, claim it is normal for them to have sex roughly 2-3 times per week, according to bedbible.  While it is certainly not a competition, if you find that you are having less sex than average, that can be a good starting point to get to a number that might be “normal” for you.  

Is He Still Attracted To Me?

One of the main reasons a man stops desiring a woman, is because he is not attracted to her anymore.  This can happen for a lot of different reasons.  So you need to ask yourself these questions:

• Does he still initiate sex ever?
• Does he compliment your looks when you get dressed up?
• Has your physical appearance changed since you first met?
• Do you make an effort to initiate sex?
• How often do you fight?
• Ever catch him looking at other women?
• Does he tell you he is attracted to other women?
• When was the last time you did something fun together?

All of these issues can lead to a man not desiring you sexually.  But you need to be honest with yourself as a woman to determine if any of these factors are truths in your relationship.  

Is the Problem Physical or Mental?

In order to properly diagnose his source of low libido, it is important to make sure your husband gets a physical examination by his doctor and has his testosterone levels tested.  If the test comes back and the results show low levels, the doctor will be able to start a  treatment plan to bring his levels back to normal and you can have some relief, knowing the problem is not you.

If however, the results show that his testosterone levels are just fine, then there are other factors at play here.  This would be a good time to start asking yourself some of the questions above.  Also, it is an opportunity to start bringing up the conversation with him about your sexual desires and what can be done to re-ignite the flame.  

Obviously, if he was willing to visit the doctor for you, he should be willing to have a grown up discussion about the lack of sex.  If he isn’t then you may need to try a form of couples counseling to get to the root of the problem.  

How Often Does He Masturbate?

Finding out your husbands masturbation habits can be a crucial element to finding out what is really going on here.  If you know for sure he masturbates, even a couple of times a week, but you are not having sex with each other, this is a problem.

You need to confront him about it, politely, and ask him to stop masturbating, and every time he is “feeling the urge” to direct that urge towards you.  It can take a bit of effort on his part, especially if you are not around when he is feeling the urge to masturbate, but if he loves you, he will certainly make the effort to wait until you are home together later in the day so you may get it on with each other!

Make Sure He Is Getting Proper Nutrition and Exercise

Believe it or not, having a good diet can dramatically increase your sexual desire. A lot of people don’t take this into consideration when they are having low libido issues. Increasing the amount of foods you eat, such as red wine, watermelon, garlic and steak can help men and women increase their libido significantly. I won’t get into too much detail on this here, but for more foods and their sexual benefits, check out this article.

Techniques to Increase His Desire

This is where things are going to get interesting.  There are a lot of things you can try to increase your husbands libido. But let’s cut straight to the chase to some methods that can really get his blood flowing!

Back Off For a Little Bit

This might seem counterintuitive, but if you have been pursuing him and trying to have sex with him and he is refusing, then trying some reverse phycology can be useful.  All of a sudden, stop trying.  

This will take the pressure off the situation, and allow him to not feel like he needs to be on the defense all the time.  It is also a great opportunity to change the entire dynamic of the “same ‘ol same ‘ol.”

When you would normally try to have sex with your husband, how about asking him out on a date instead.  Ask him to take  you to your favorite restaurant, or that place you went on your first date.  This takes the focus off the sex, and back on your relationship as a couple.  

Watch Porn Together

Chances are, your husband watches porn.  Statistically speaking, he almost certainly does.  Ask him what kind of porn he likes.  Or maybe you already know what kind he likes.  Put some porn on the TV or computer when he is not busy or preoccupied doing something else, and then start touching yourself right in front of him.

If this does not turn him on, I don’t know what will!  He may not be into women anymore, but that is a whole separate issue (and hopefully not the case…).

Introduce Toys and Costumes

This is a great technique to try if you are still having sex, but just not as often as you would like.  Toys and costumes are a great way to add extra pleasure and stimulation to a situation that would otherwise seem too familiar.  

And the key to making this work is the element of surprise.  Don’t ask him if he would like you to buy a vibrating cock ring for him, or a sexy nurse outfit for you.  Just do it!  He will probably be so surprised when he sees it, that it will be an instant turn on for him and probably lead to the extra sex you’ve been hoping for 😉 . Here are some suggestions.

Wake Him Up With a Blowjob

This one might sound a little extreme or aggressive, but trust me, it works!  Any man, I don’t care who he is, would love to wake up this in the morning.  All of a sudden he goes from dreamland, to you sucking his cock.  

Once you got him rock hard, you know what to do next.  Just get on top and go to town.  It is an aggressive move, but if you are desperate and horny, it is certainly worth a try. Most likely he will love it and so will you!

Ask Him To Try Some Aphrodisiacs

There are a lot of different opinions out there about aphrodisiacs.  Some people love aphrodisiacs and credit them with saving their relationship.  Others believe it is all hocus pocus.  There is some truth, that any type of stimulant you try for any reason, can certainly have a type of “placebo” effect, regardless of the product’s actual potency.  

But try introducing aphrodisiacs into the sexual equation.  At this point, you don’t have much to lose and it may just help. Here are some fast acting aphrodisiacs that have a good chance at boosting his libido

What if None of This Works?

Well I was hoping you would never ask, but since you are here and made it this far, it is an important question to answer.  If you have tried talking to him and have tried all of the solutions listed above, and it has been months or even years since trying to improve things.  Then it might be time to start thinking about your options.

If you are so dissatisfied with your sexual relationship, that you feel like ending the relationship all together or sleeping with someone else, then make sure you are crystal clear about this with your husband, so he knows this is where things are at.  If he still does nothing, then you cannot feel guilty about moving on with your life.

On the other hand, if you really love him and can overlook the lack of sex, then maybe becoming a proficient masturbator will do the trick.  Only you know what will be right for you and your life.  And of course having a family together or a long rich history can influence your decision quite a bit.

Always remember, life is too short, and you need to do everything in your power to be happy.  Whatever it takes.  If you really tried your best, you know you did what you could and can live the rest of your life knowing you gave it your all.