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How To Attract a Woman Older Than You

Getting a woman older than you interested is not that different from getting a woman your own age.  There are some common themes always at play when you want to attract a new woman.  You always need to show respect, attraction and interest.  But there are some key factors you want to focus on in particular to give you the best odds at attracting an older woman.  

Make Sure You Are Ready

Why do you want to be be with an older woman anyhow?  Are you trying to prove a point to your friends?  Maybe you heard that the sex is better, and you just want to give it a try?  If this is your motivation, you might as well quit now.

This article is for all of the guys out there who are not having a lot of success with women their own age.  If you are having a hard time relating to women your own age because of maturity or commitment issues, then being with an older woman can be just what the doctor ordered.  

Older woman are wiser, and have more life experience.  They are usually very fun to hang out with and just have a conversation with.  Yes, they do have more experience with sex too, but that should not be your only motivation for aiming older.  

So if you still think that being with an older woman can be right for you, then read on!  Here are some tips to have the most success, and make her want you back.

Look The Part

Depending on how far apart you are in age, the tougher this might be.  But what I mean is to show her that you are capable of being someone she doesn’t mind being seen in public with.  Show her that it wont be like taking her son on a date.  She needs to feel like you “look right together”.  Act the part, be mature.  Be a man, and look like one too!  This will increase your odds of her being attracted to you dramatically.

Give Her Respect From the Beginning

If you want to have any chance at attracting an older woman, you better be ready to behave like a gentleman.  You don’t have to be her butler, but you do need to show her kindness from the beginning and not act rude.  Older woman have already put up with their fair share of assholes in their lives, and demand to be treated with respect, or would usually rather just be left alone.  This is not always true, but is a good rule to follow.

Be Yourself

This can really work with any woman, but it works particularly well with older woman mainly because the usual antics to impress just don’t work.  If you think you can just pull up in a rented Ferrari and she will melt, think again!  Those type of tricks usually only work on younger women that are gold diggers.  Older woman will see through all of your showing off, and it will make you look foolish and un-attractive to her.  Better to just not do it.  

The only way this can really be a problem, is if that is who you are and you are being yourself  The title of this paragraph is to be yourself, but if you are the kind of guy that feels the need to try to impress all your dates, you might have a hard time with the older ladies.

Make Interesting Conversation With Her

One of the best ways you can get an older woman attracted to you quickly, is to show her that you know a thing or two, and that you are not empty minded.  Ask her some questions about her interests, hobbies, and maybe her work if the situation calls for it.  Then, once you get a feel for what she’s into, start a conversation about one of the topics.  Just make sure that you choose a topic that you at least know something about.  Don’t just talk mindlessly in hopes of looking intelligent.  If she is knowledgable on the subject, she will know you are full of shit right away.

Keep having casual conversation until you come across a topic you feel comfortable voicing an opinion on.  This will show her that you care about more than just sex, food and sleep.  It will show that you have some intelligence, and that can be a huge turn on for older women.  They are trying to sort the men from the boys, so make sure you are one of the men! 

Don’t Lead Her On

If you are trying to get with her only because she is hot, this is probably a bad idea.  Unless you know for certain, she only wants sex too.  But it will probably be pretty obvious from the moment you first meet her if she only wants sex or not.  If she is looking for a relationship, and you aren’t, respectfully part ways.  Just be honest with her and tell her that you think she is extremely attractive, but you are not ready for a relationship at the moment.  She will appreciate your honesty, and maybe even sleep with you anyhow 😉

Show Some Class

When you are planning your first date with an older woman, make sure to make an impression.  The trick here is taking her somewhere nice, but not too nice.  Dressing up handsome, and looking good for the date is a must.  But, you don’t need to hire a limo, rent that Ferrari, or plan the magic doves flying away.  All that stuff is over the top.  Just pick her up, in YOUR car, be polite, open doors, pull out chairs and you will be in good hands.  Take her to a nice restaurant, that is not too crowded or where the music is too loud. 

You want to be able to talk, and have a few drinks without always having to be like “I can’t hear you!  Its too loud in here!”   If you are wondering where to take an older woman on a date, here are a few ideas:

  • Classy Lounge 
  • Jazz Club
  • The Beach
  • An Art Show
  • A Local Tour of the City
  • Live Play
  • Mini Cruise (usually a couple hours and they have a bar)
  • A Concert (makes sure she is into that kind of music)
  • The Zoo

She will see you have manners and style, and that you know how to be a true gentlemen.  A lot of young women these days may not even care or, respect you for doing these things.  But older women have been with the jerks.  They have experience with how things are supposed to be between a man and a woman.  She will know you stand out from all rest of the young bucks when you show some class.

Project Confidence

Now confidence is one the toughest aspects in life in general to master.  Especially in the dating world.  I wrote a great article on How To Have More Confidence In Dating Here.  Sometimes, you need to “fake it till you make it”.  Even if you are not the most confident guy, acting like you are will go a long ways.  

An older woman is most likely looking for a guy young enough to be able to get it up and fuck her good, but doesn’t remind her of her younger nephew.  A couple of easy tricks you can try to project more confidence with her is to just grab her, and kiss her in public.  When planning a date, YOU decide the place, and time.  Take control of the situation.  You are just showing her that you are capable of handling things.  That is really all confidence is.  Displaying that you have enough courage to do something, even if you don’t know all the details.  But you have the ability to figure it out as you go, and try not to look stupid doing it.

Ask Her What She is Looking For in a Man

Sometimes the best way to get the info you are looking for is to just ask!  And this case is no different.  Try to determine from the get go if you two are a match.  When she starts naming personality traits or expectations she has from a man, you will quickly get the idea if you fit the description or not.  It also might give you some tips on what type of man she is attracted to.  If aren’t that far off, maybe you can take some notes, and use this info to really impress her next time you see her.

If she says that she likes a man that has ambitions in life, then maybe think about starting your own business in your spare time (if you aren’t already an entrepreneur).  Not to say you should start a business, JUST TO GET WITH A WOMAN.  But if you really like her, and you know she wants a man with a future, then try to be that guy.  It will only benefit you in the long run too.  Even if things don’t work out, you may end up making some extra money!

Never Focus On The Age Difference

Lets just start off by making something clear.  If the woman you are after is only a few years older than you, even 5 years older, it really is not THAT BIG OF A DIFFERENCE!  Once you go past 5 years apart or more, the difference in age does start to become more noticeable.  From the things you remember growing up, to how you were raised, etc etc.  

You just never want to focus on this difference.  She might bring it up, especially in the beginning.  But just brush it off.  Show her that you could care less about her age v.s. yours.  Age really means nothing when it comes to love and attraction.  If she sees after a few times being together that you really don’t care about her age, it will make her feel a lot more secure in being with you, and probably even justify the age difference in her own mind.  The only way this works though is if you really don’t care!  You can’t fake your way through this.  So, if it is an issue for you, she will sense it, and it probably isn’t going to work out.

Bring Some Fun Into Her Life

The older people get, the more lazy and comfortable they get with life.  It is just the way things go.  This is a great opportunity for you as a younger man to reinvigorate her with some youth.  Take a her to a fun place to danceGo on an active date with her, like riding bicycles, or a nice hike.  Get her blood flowing again.  If you need more fun date ideas, just watch any rom-com out there, and you will be sure to come up with something. 

She may already be the type of woman that is into these kind of activities, but even so, it will make you even more attractive to her, knowing that you can enjoy these things together.  And if she is not into those things, then good thing you came along to show her how to have fun again!  She is not dead yet, and the more alive you can make her feel, the more points you will score.

Try Not to Go After a Woman Older Than Your Mom

I know this one is a little off topic, but it does apply, so hear me out.  While age doesn’t really mean anything, it can be just downright awkward dating someone who is your parents age or older.  There are some couples out there that have a successful relationship despite this, but it is very rare.  

Not trying to apply any hard and fast rules to age limits or anything.  But as a general rule of thumb, 20 years difference is really pushing it.  She is old enough to be your mom, and she might not be able to mentally overcome that.  So just know this when trying to get with her.  Your best shot is going to be aiming for a woman that is anywhere from 5-13 years older than you.  

You’re not in the same generation, but you are also not young enough to where she just feels gross about it.  I know everyone is going to have different opinions about this, and may even hate me for saying this.  But I have had personal experience in this department.  I have also been with women who were more than 20 years older than me.  It can be fun, but does not have much potential to work out as a real relationship.  

Look Older Than You Really Are

You don’t have to dye your hair grey or anything crazy like that.  But if you look like a hipster or have a boyish haircut, this is not going to work in your favor.  If you are able to grow some facial hair, this is a big plus for you.  A beard is best when going after an older woman.  Keep it nice and trimmed, and you will look distinguished and debonaire.  

Wear nice clothes whenever you are in her presence.  Dressing well will make it look like you have your act together.  I know dressing well can mean something different for everyone, so I put a picture below so there is no confusion. 

Younger Man With a Beard Dressed Well

Try to look like this guy.  Have a longer haircut.  You don’t have to have hair down to your shoulders, but if you have a classic looking men’s haircut, combined with a nice beard, she will love it!  She will be able to visualize herself being with you, because you look like you can belong together.  

Cook For Her

This can be one of THE BEST ways to attract an older woman.  She has probably been with other men that expect her to do everything around the house, including cook all of the meals.  If you can whip up a nice delicious dinner, and all she has to do is sit there, relax and watch you do it, oh boy, that good sex is coming!  This will make for a wonderful date night together, where you really have a chance to bond, have a few drinks and get it on.  It is almost guaranteed to work every single time.  You may not want to try this for your very first date together, (unless you are confident in the kitchen), but after you get to know her the first time you meet, it can be a great second date.

Just Be Cool

Noting is more attractive than just being real.  Don’t pretend to be someone you are not.  This tip is mostly a combination of everything we talked about above.  It is the most authentic way to make an older woman more attracted to you.  

At the end of the day, trying to keep up with some kind of act can be exhausting, and eventually you will run out of gas.  Better not to ever do it in the first place.  Being authentic with her in your interests, tastes and desires is all that it takes.  That is the definition of being cool.  She will either like you for who you are, or she won’t.  

But my guess is, if you are going after a woman who’s older than you, then chances are, you are probably pretty mature for your age.  You have probably already had a few younger girlfriends and just didn’t feel the connection.

That is the best part about being with an older woman.  Getting to be with someone that is still hot, is intelligent, has goals in life, and probably her own place, her own car.  It really is refreshing to have that kind of balance in a relationship.  Knowing that she will not depend on you for every little thing.  I know some men like that kind of thing, but you probably don’t if you aim for someone older.

I wish you luck in your quest to date an older woman.  I know from experience, that it can be a lot more fun than being with women your own age.  So get to it, and let me know how it goes!