Guys can be extremely selfish at times when it comes to sex.  When a guy has sex with you just so that he can get off, he is using your body very selfishly.  There are a lot of reasons why men behave selfishly in the bedroom.  Nothing is worse than the feeling of reaching out to your partner in bed and them not being there for you.  Tons of thoughts may run through your mind that make you question you and your relationship.  

It can be one of the loneliest feelings in the world.  When your advances are met with unresponsiveness, it is easy to become angry or content in the situation.  This can lead to sexual withdrawal on both sides and even more problems in the relationship.  You do not have to wait for your boyfriend to change. You have the power to take control and get all of the satisfaction that you need in the bedroom.

Sex can get boring when the other person is only in it for themselves.  This can really affect the overall mood and intimacy in the relationship.  When two people are in bed, they should be willing to serve one another until both people are satisfied.  We can’t fulfill our own sexual needs, otherwise, we would not seek relationships.  So sexual fulfillment should be a goal for both people.  Things may become frustrating when you and your boyfriend have sex and he is happy and satisfied with himself, and completely oblivious to the fact that you are longing for more.

If you find yourself longing for more touch, more physical closeness, more sex or more physical affection, then you may be a bit neglected in the bedroom.  Whenever there is a disconnect in the bedroom, it affects the intimacy of the entire relationship.  You may feel hopeless when this happens but there are a lot of ways to get things back on track. Here is a great read on how a woman can spice up the bedroom.  Luckily, problems in the bedroom can be quite fun to solve.  When it comes to sex, you need to think about the nature, quality, and quantity.

There Is No Need To Feel Dissatisfied With Sex

You can make your man addicted to pleasing you in the bedroom.  Men and women are turned on in different ways so you need to figure out what works well for you as a couple.  There are lots of reasons we desire sexual satisfaction.  We tend to focus on orgasms and forget about the other elements of sex that are fun.  Sweet signs of affection like kissing and cuddling are great ways to keep things hot and heavy.

Make Sure That You Know What He Needs

You can talk about things in advance or right in the heat of the moment.  When you show genuine interest in his bedroom desires, it really turns him on.  Make sure that you dig deep and get all of the details on what drives him crazy.  This way you can give him exactly what he desires.  If you make his fantasies come to life, he will want to do this for you in return.  You can start by sharing some new things that you want to try between the sheets then ask him to share as well. Try some high quality massage oils or maybe some aphrodisiacs to really get things going. When he knows that you are willing to do whatever he wants in the bedroom, he’ll want you all the time.

Focus on The Positive

Train your mind to block out all negativity and only focus on the positive.  Remove any negative thoughts that you have about what you are not getting in the bedroom.  It may be difficult during this time, but think about the things that you like about him.  Recall the times that he has done nice things for you.  Become enraptured in everything that you love about him.  This will ensure that your relationship is as happy as possible as well as the bedroom.  When you block out the bad and hold on to the good it creates an amazing capacity for sexual fantasies.

Get What You Want, Before He Gets What He Wants

If you want more kissing and cuddling before sex, then this is when you cash in.  Have him do everything that you need him to do for as long as you need until you are totally satisfied.  Make sure that you keep it sexy and playful so that you don’t kill the vibe.  You’ll make him need you and want you all the time.  

So let him know what he needs to do to please you as best he can.  Create sexual tension from the fiery foreplay and enjoy.  Not all sex is penetration and every time will not be the best time but you can still have a delightful time.  The goal is for you to be just as happy as he is after every sexy session.

Be Open and Willing To Try New Things

Trying new things in the bedroom keeps the relationship exciting and fun.  When he knows that you are open to trying new things, he will appreciate this more than you can imagine.  These are things that will allow you to surprise yourself and expand your sexuality.  When you set this romantic mood, you can romantically ask for reciprocation. Here are 10 things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom.

Bring Intimacy Back Into The Relationship

You can do this easily by doing little things to get closer to your man.  Make sure that you jump on the opportunities to get next to him like cuddling on the couch, holding hands, or stealing a kiss on the cheek.  Most importantly, be his best friend.  Call him sweet names and cuddle up next to him when he least expects it.  Things between the two of you should be very playful so tease and joke around with him as much as you can.  Give him massages and be as romantic as you can be.

Approach The Situation With Grace

Control your anger, regardless of whether or not you feel neglected.  Do not lash out on your man or call him out for selfish behavior.  You need to spend time with your man and talk to him by making an effort to be more present in his life.  Start paying attention and recognize the things that turn him on.  You need to understand your partner’s way of connecting to you.

Take Time To Learn More About Each Other

Approach your man with an open heart and vulnerability.  You need to make sure that you address the issue so that you know what works and what does not work.  When we are in relationships we tend to think that we know everything about the other person and they know everything about us.  In actuality, there is always something new to learn about a person.  Ask your partner if there is anything that he wants to do with you sexually that you don’t do enough or at all.  

This will get the conversation going and maybe even some action.  Also, be honest with him about what you would like.  Be sure not to phrase it as criticism, it should seem like something exciting and new that you would like to try with him.  You taking the lead sometimes gives him permission to also bring in new adventures.  Make sure that you are consistently talking about sex.  Nothing should be considered embarrassing between two people who love and care for each other.  The more that you explore, the more fun adventures you can have.

Be Patient

Remember that you are trying to change up the dynamics a bit, so this can take some time.  You may not get the ideal reaction that you were hoping for.  He may say that you have changed or think that it is weird.  In reality, he just hasn’t seen this side of you and it can be shocking.  It can make your partner feel like there are things about you that he does not know.  

If you experience this it is not the end of the world.  You need to give him time to process everything and come to him at a later time to let him know what you need.  Let him know how much you are turned on by him and that you want to explore fantasies together.  Tell him that you are so attracted to him, that he brings this sexual rage out in you.

Sex Is All About Teamwork

In a relationship, you should be willing to explore each other’s needs and cater to those needs.  You should go out of your way to please your man and he should do the exact same for you.  Unfulfilled sexual needs and desires can really hurt relationships.  You need to ignite his masculine energy so that he desires to pleasure you.  You should feel wanted, loved and connected to your partner in the bedroom.  If you have a need to connect with your partner in the bedroom, follow these steps to success.  When both of you feel fulfilled in the bedroom, you both will be grateful for the great sex.  Sex is a powerful way of connecting and bonding with someone that you love.

Reference Sources:

Riordan, H. (2018, February 5) He Doesn’t Care About You, He Only Cares About Himself. Retrieved from https://thoughtcatalog.com/