One of the hardest things with a break up for a lot of people is moving on. Moving on means not thinking of that person anymore. Starting to get back to do the things you enjoy in life by yourself. It also means possibly sleeping with someone new.
There are no hard and fast rules for sleeping with someone new after a breakup. However, you may want take some of the following bits of advice into consideration before jumping in the sack. It will just make the transition smoother, and give you more confidence and self-esteem.
Re-Build Your Confidence
When you stop having sex with your old partner sometimes confidence in the bedroom can be lost. And truthfully, the longer it takes to jump back in the sack, the more your ego can suffer. The time it takes to get your confidence back will be different for everyone. For some, it might be better to have sex with a new partner sooner rather than later to keep your groove so to speak.
However, your groove may not be the same with the new person. Everyone’s sexual turn ons and quirks are different. So what may have worked with the last person, could be a total flop with the new person. The best way to re-build your confidence here is to make sure you realize your own true value. Spend more time with your friends, family and other people who care about you. This will give you re-assurance that you do matter, and that you do bring value to a relationship. Once you re-discover this truth, your sexual confidence will be back on the uptick.
Explore New Opportunities
When you have sex with someone new, it can be a great way to try new things that your ex wasn’t comfortable with. Maybe you always wanted to have sex in a public place, but your ex would never do it. Well now you can! You can really do whatever want. That is the best part about being single again.
Maybe your new sex partner will introduce a new “move” or position that you haven’t tried or don’t have much experience with. The important thing here is to see if you actually like any of these new things, and make sure to tell the other person about the things you don’t like too. It can fun and exciting to try some new sex toys, positions, etc.
Give Yourself Good Odds
What do I mean by this? I mean, don’t just sleep with anyone just to have sex. If thats what you really want, then fine, more power to you. But most people won’t be comfortable with that. You need to find the next lucky girl or guy in a place that will give you the best odds for sexual compatibility. If you are the quiet type that enjoys being home and cuddling, then don’t go looking for your next sex partner at a night club! Same goes if you are an outgoing type. You are not going to have much luck looking for your next bang at a library if you know what I mean.
Find the next person at the same places, and doing the same things you like to do. This is usually congruent with regular relationship advice too. Finding a good relationship or sex partner is best found when you are HONEST with yourself about who you are, what you like and searching accordingly.
Don’t Overthink It!
While sex is a serious thing with sometimes serious consequences, it’s important to remember here that this is not your first rodeo okay? You’ve done this before! Remember how good sex feels, and the excitement that leads up to it. Try to turn some of that nervous energy into anticipation. You might be surprised at how invigorating it can feel to have someone new want you again.
Decide if Sex is What You Really Want
If you are the type of person that is not comfortable with having “rebound-sex”, then don’t! That right, don’t do it. Wait to have sex again until you find yourself in a new relationship. Remember, you can do anything you want here. This is your life and you are in charge. Don’t force yourself to do something just because you feel peer pressure or its what your friends want you to do. Always put yourself and your needs before others in this case, and you will know when its time to get freaky again 😉
Have a Couple Drinks
This one might sound funny, but once you are with a new person, and you know its gonna happen, this is a great way to ease the tension. Im not saying get wasted and start doing shots. Definitely DO NOT do that! What I am saying is to just a have a couple drinks, let your hair down a little. Release yourself from the uptightness of every-day life. It will definitely make the sex more fun and you will have a great time leading up to it. Just make sure to not over do it here….
Start Slow
If you want to just start going at it and start humping like rabbits, then by all means, don’t let me stop you! But if thats not what you had in mind then make sure to take it slow. After having those couple of drinks. Start with some kissing, see how that goes first. Maybe you will realize you are still not ready. Or maybe you will be so turned on, you are ready to start taking off your clothes. Just make sure to go the right pace for you.
Leave Your Old Baggage Behind
The last thing you want to do when meeting a potential new lover, is start talking about the old one. That will surely be a turn off, and not get you the results you are seeking. It’s ok to talk to them about what you like in bed, but refrain from talking about who you liked in bed. Let the past be the past. Not only will this help you move on, it will make the new experience seem fresh, as it should be.
Make Sure You Can Give an Orgasm!
This one is really more for the guys. Woman usually don’t have a hard time making a man cum ;). But guys, be prepared. Make sure you know what you are doing. Satisfy your new lover. Make sure you know how to give her an orgasm. This will make for much better sex for both of you and give you a huge boost in sexual confidence.
Have Fun!
Whatever you do, make sure your new sexual adventures are fun. Have fun finding the new partner. Have fun with the “lead up”. Enjoy the anticipation. Imagine all the things you would like to do again. Sex is always supposed to be fun, and should never feel like a must or a chore. I feel like this one really doesn’t need to be said, but for anyone reading this that feels nervous or pressure about your future sexual endeavors needs to know its all about pleasure and having a good time.
Conclusion
I hope this article has really given you some value and some great advice for your upcoming sexual escapades. If you think I missed something important or you want to give an opinion, be sure to drop a comment below. The goal of this article and really this entire blog, is to make sure everyone has the greatest sex possible. Don’t be shy, we want to hear from you!
Photo by Jan Zhukov on Unsplash
